im getting well :)
1st time showing out this thingy, feel like insecure. : /
i know is ugly thou.
for the past one week, i was in a totally confused and frail condition.
i have been told to update my condition once im awake and once i able to typing.
but sorry friends, i failed to do so cos i was totally in a blurred state :( until a few days after i came back home from hosp.
even i told that will try to blog it while im in ward, but i couldn't get any interest on doing anything, not even iphone and ipod, and my smurf's village as well...been abandoned my smurf for so long :[
i keep sleeping...sleeping and sleeping...and dun even know how could i slept for so many days and including the days after i came back, i still slept for about 2 days. Zzz
✈ ♥♥♥♥♥
i have 2 wounds over my body which is the hips area and one more new cut over the ribs :(wounds on face as well and inside the mouth : \
so this actually made me can't sit, stand,walk, eat, bite, talk, breath thru nose,and more and more...
im totally dependent T___T
and how much i suffered couldn't describe out here thru words.
i was lil crumble when the doctor try to fill up some tubes of blood for lab test, and my blood was not enough after few tubes, and no choice she has to puncture again.
when the anesthetist going to insert a branula into my vein, and the vein is too small, so no choice to probe again and again. T_____________T
ended up, my both hands were full with plaster. : /
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nurse asked me pain score 1-10 and planned to inject some pain killer for me. Morphine injected and my pain still never get relief at all.
still the moment i was push out from the recov room, and saw my mum was waiting outside, i started to tears drop, and there's the only way i can told my mum that i was in such pain.
but as you know, cry, cough,etc make the pressure increase and this will only end up causing more pain to myself.
i been told that the cuts over the ribs will be the most painful wounds for me, told by a senior staff nurse in the ward. so, i was quite worried about this before the surgery.
in fact, the most painful wounds is the one located at hips!the painfulness even made me wake up at night and i couldn't stay my leg straight, i have to bend it all the time to reduce lil pain and only strong medicine can able to kill the pain.
the surgeon told me it's because too much of bone has been taken out and of course some injury to the surround tissues and nerves, plus this is the second time i did this bone grafting from the exactly same site, so basically it's double injury to that area. D:
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due to the previous experience, i know that surgeon will only let me discharge when i could able walk and eat (only swallow liquid-type food), so i requested to take out the urine catheter and tried myself very hard to get down from bed and walk to bathroom on the 3rd day, again my tears drop down even thou i know i shouldn't cry, but it happened naturally because of severe pain. plus, the anesthesia effect made me nauseated few days after surgery and when i started vomit, it cause more pressure and pain at my nose and hips' wound. i was seriously suffered like hell.
and for my every single breathe, i have to place a small pillow over the chest to breath and couldn't take deep breath as well, to reduce the pain over the chest's wounds.
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im breathing thru mouth cos my nose all blocked, it makes my mouth dry always so i have to wake up every hour to drop a few drops of water into my mouth to moisturize it.but when im eating i can't breath @,@ that's y i always suffocating while eating or drinking. this is worse too!
i can only swallow soft-liquid-type foods, no biting and no cold drinks. *i miss grass jelly milk tea with bubble by chatime* i even difficult in swallowing medicine, so the nurse punch it and add with some syrup to make it sweet in stead of bitter, but still i dun have the breath to suck in thru straw. :[
this is the dinner the served me the day before surgery. since im staying at ward A1, so i have more choice for meal. i ordered this black pepper chicken with mushroom soup and it's tasty ^^
this is what they served me after operation. T___T
big differences and i have no choice!
all blanded and blended thingy! yakk!
have to finish up at least half in every meal in order to "get release" home by the surgeon.
the wound over my hips *in case anyone misunderstood this, im not naked*
This is more longer than the previous scar, but i haven't open out both water-proof dressing and see how long is the scar, should do it one day before going for check up.
open up and see and do the dressing my own since i have extra cotton and patches.
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okay, the pain even last until now im still paining, this is the reason y i can't stand and walk for the past few days. i can't sit for too long, stand more than 3 mins,and i walk slow like an old folks! T_________T
i have no idea why till now im still feeling dizzy especially when get up from bed, mum said maybe anemia. :C
i almost fainted inside bathroom few times when i get up and go by my own. *i hate it*
have to give some spacing for rest in between when i go bathroom take bath, wash face, mouth cleasing...
i can't do it one shot, whereby i will feel extremely exhausted and my whole body started to stab pain within 3 mins time. this is exactly like an old folk do. WTH with me!!!
and i can't sit straight for a long period, i have to lie on something, i can't walk for a distance, not even from my room to the kitchen downstairs, i feel extremely exhausted and start to giddy zomg!
what the hell happened on me?! i want back my pretty healthy body!pls!!
im such a energetic girl and i can shop for the whole day long!!! okay, i miss shopping.
maybe they're one of the reason??
i have 6 type of medicine plus one more bottle codeine tables for chronic pain.
and this is my snacks.
since i have no more food choice, my lunch and dinner is forever plain porridge, i mean for now!
so when i feel like eating, this is all my snacks with mashed potato, soya, and pudding =D
the only soft thingy i can have =[
iphone casing by babe yin. thanks for this and the magazine you bought.
and thankiu so much for my relatives, all gave me so generous angpao and lotsa tonic.
and all my friends for the wishes =)
your wishes have made me even stronger! : >
and here, i have to thank you so so much to my dear mummy,
she acc me through out this whole process
take good care for me, bringing me and giving so much of love to me.
the task of caring me is such tough, and my mum really did it well. =)
in order to ease her and let her have a good sleep at night,
i used to get up and walk very slowly by myself whereby she actually not allowed me to do so cos i always dizzy after get up.
she really take good care of me =)
mummy, thank you and i love you ♥♥♥
family support is always the most important part, and i received the 100% from my family.
there is still lotsa i have suffered and experienced, i just couldn't describe all thru words here.
the purpose of writing this post ain't to get sympathy or to showing off anything.
Im writing for my own in this such an unforgettable and tough days,
✈ i have gone thru. =')
✈ i have gone thru. =')
