Last but not the least for 2011♥

Harlo,here im back again. :) wanna do a short ending post before 2011 ends, but em got too limited of time.
December is always such a joyous and holiday month, but it ends very soon after today...new year coming, wow! 2012!world end??! life still have to goes on : P

So, darlings, how was ur Xmas last week? fantastic? owh, mine was so-so~ *,* worked in pm shift on xmas eve and am shift on xmas day ain't such a good thing to me, same comes to my new year eve. :(  as i always used to celebrate this both pleasing festival, anyway, wish i could save it to my chinese new year, and i could go back hometown that time. :D blessing....

as for shopaholic, December is also such a crazy shopping month too! everything, everywhere on SALE!SALE!SALE! how can you missed that?! am i right??
few days ago before xmas, me and xinyin decided to did some shopping in Orchard, as she wanted to feel the xmas ambiance there. ya, when comes to xmas, ppl always think of orchard since there used to have spectacular decoration by the roadside and shopping mall.

here comes Clarke Quay 1st, the day before we headed to Orchard, I recommended xinyin this my favourite night-life place in Sg. if you are clubber, i bet you will like this place!

  sitting by the breezy riverside, listening to the music, is kind of enjoyment after a busy day. 

 with mai all time favourite mini skirt and sneaker recently

** mini skirt from Taiwan

** sneaker from Forever 21

okay, next station~ Orchard Road desu~

infront of ION Orchard~

Tangs~

Paragon~

  

 Casual outfit of the day~

i dun remember what have i bought on the day, except for some tops and mummy's bday present. guess what? : P

i was crazy buying long sleeve tops since the weather turns so windy and cool recently, and i found i have no long sleeve tops when i wanted to wear other than my sweater's collection.

so they are my new collection recently~ but after that, the weather turns sunny,wtf, looks like i got no chance to wear now~ lollll

from left #GAP #G2000 #ZARA #ESPIRIT

#FOREVER 21 #DEMO

oh yea, and this~~

 favor too... #Garrett Popcorn

nicey ^^V

 

that's all for now :)

few more mins to 2012, any to-do list or wish list for the coming year?? mine? still thinking by the way :P 

so stay tuned :D

anyway, see yea next year~ 

♥ HAPPY NEW YEAR ♥

muacks ^^

10 Ways to Bring Meaning into Your Life

By Elisha Goldstein, PhD

More and more it seems like life can be so hectic. It's as if we purposely overload ourselves with more things than we could possibly ever accomplish.

Sometimes as I'm going to sleep I think about all the things I need to get done and when I'm awake during the day I think about all the things that need to get done. Take a shower, make coffee, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, go to work, etc... It's almost as if at the end of the day I can truly ask myself, "where did the day go?" Enough of these and I can ask myself the same questions in weeks, months, or even years!

So when I feel like these questions are coming up, I do some brief exercises that help bring me to the present moment and remind myself that I'm living.

1. For 5 minutes: Whatever you are doing, just do it slightly slower. At work we are all given tasks to do. One time per day, for 5 minutes do that task a little bit slower. Do not do the task in slow motion, or take breaks from the task, simply do it a little bit slower. 

 

2. Take 5 minutes at lunch to notice what you're eating. You can actually do this at an meal, or anytime you eat. You are going to notice what your food looks like, how it smells, feels, and tastes. As you pick up your food, notice the texture of it, is it bumpy, smooth, wet? Notice what you smell. As you take it in your mouth notice how it feels in your mouth, notice the tastes that are coming out of it, how your teeth break it down. As you swallow it, notice it going down your throat. Do the same with the drink. 

3. Take 3 minutes to just sit and notice your breath. Sit in a place of your choice, could be behind your desk, or anywhere. Close your eyes. For 3 minutes simply pay attention to your breath. For these 3 minutes your breath gets your undivided attention. If you notice yourself thinking about something, even the thought "why am I doing this stupid exercise", just notice that your're thinking that and then gently bring your attention back to your breath.

4. Wash the Dishes. If you're not used to doing dishes, there will be many benefits to this one. As you begin to wash the dishes, notice the texture of the plate and the warmth of the water on your hands. Inhale and notice if there is any scent. Listen to hear the rush of the water or any other sounds that are happening around you. Not only will you be able to practice being in the moment, but many of your family and friends will be thrilled with you. 

5. Take a Bath or Shower. Preferably a bath if you have one, but even with a shower, you can take your moment in the shower or bath to feel the warmth of the water or feel how your body is immersed in the water. How does your skin feel? Do you notice any smells? Is your hair wet. Just be in the moment and notice all your senses....breathe. 

6. Make Love Slightly Slower for a few moments. As you are making love to our significant other, take a moment to purposely move slightly slower. As you do this begin to mentally feel over all parts of your body. How your skin feels when touching his/hers, how are you breathing? Are you sweating? Is there a scent in the air. Take a moment and really be there making love.

7. Smell a flower for an extra breath. This one I love. Often times I will be passing by a flower and if I remember to smell it, I take an extra inhalation to really get the full experience of the scent. You will be surprised how much that extra inhalation makes a difference in the experience.

8. Be Silly. I'm serious;). Being silly allows your creative juices to flow and your creative juices is what life is all about. Letting yourself be silly can also be very relaxing and create joyful situations that are full of meaning. 

9. Write a letter to someone close to you... telling them how much you appreciate them. This is not a new idea by any stretch yet it is always worth mentioning since it is so meaningful. A letter that that person will always cherish.

10. Remind yourself that you are a miracle. This may be the most important. How they heck did any of us get here? When we break it down to nanotechnology and quantum physics, scientists are stumped to figure out the great mystery of us physically being here and interacting and creating symbols and concepts and communicating. 

It's boggling. That's why our moments on this earth are so precious and it is a wonderful gift to attempt to cultivate those moments in life that you consider to be sacred.

You get the idea... try it out.

 have a nice day! Merry Xmas! :>

我有话想说...

一直有些心事闷在心里，好像表达出来，所以不好意思，不管你想看也好，觉得不要也罢，我就是想说出来…

几个星期前，鼻子的伤口发炎，要巧不巧，正是在我从吉隆坡回家的那天，也刚好是我吃完抗生素的隔一天。我一直以为这是小事，所以看了医生再继续服药，我并没有多顾虑，继续我原先的计划，准时在12月开始上班。

原本庆幸，发炎的状况在开始上班的前一天就慢慢好转了，我庆幸，医生高兴，但他还是建议我进行次小型手术(incision & drainage) ，他要彻底的在清洗清洁多一次，不是紧急手术，时间随我安排，我答应了，就两星期后，好让我在工作上有所交待先。

天晓得，在忙碌上班后的第N天，我无意间发现局部发炎的状况慢慢在蔓延了，然而，鼻子上的植入体 (implant)本来就是很敏感的，也是细菌最爱的家~所以它们筑巢那儿了… 

也许你觉得小问题，不重要，不在意，那是你，不是我！这可是我辛辛苦苦痛了将近两个月的心血，你不会懂，你也永远不会知道我当时一个人的心情，感受及恐慌！对，虽然那只是手术中的一部分，其他的都没问题，可是，那是我最满意的部分，也许很多人不那么觉得。

医生说任何事，随时致电他诊所找他，谁料到，当时在上班的我拼命拨电话去，他却那天开会，没有门诊！！也许他的护士也不知道我的严重性，所以并没有告诉医生。

当时对我来说，简直是极度的没希望！所以，在上完班后，我直接以最快的方式到达医院，想说不如到急诊部，看有没有的安排前动手术，结果急诊部大排长龙，尽要我等上两到三小时，哪门子的急诊啊！我等不及，所以拒绝了，想说再碰碰运气，所以抱着希望往他的诊所奔去。终于，我到了，把我的情况告诉了护士，她终于看到严重性了，立刻带我去见正开完会要离开的医生。并没有出乎我说料，植入体也发炎了，唯一的办法就是再把它取出。

时间将近傍晚六时，我一个人在就要关门的诊所部门，等待他们为我安排紧急手术的手续，一个人，心里既是害怕，恐慌，担心又伤心，拖着刚下班疲惫到不行的身体，坐在诊所大厅里哭得上气不接下气 。我不知道，在这时候，有谁能陪着我。

手续办完后，我回家等待隔天动了手术。一路哭着到家，一心只希望能有个人可以在身边，那我不会那么害怕。所以我没有回家，到工作医院处理完事情后，我留下等欣宜下班，她是我当时的依靠，我依然伤心到不行，一看见她就抱着哭得忘我，感谢她陪着我哭逗着我笑，陪我走回那条当时我觉得很漫长的回家路。

爸爸打电话来安慰我，听见我的哭声，一时心急心疼，要妈咪当晚就跑来我家陪我过夜。他说我哭得像猪。

然而，手术当天，我异常冷静，没有再哭，也许是太饿了，手术竟然拖到将近傍晚才进行，可我从凌晨12点就禁食了也！后悔到不行，早知道就吃点早餐。

完全没哭是假的，我那么爱哭那么胆小那么怕痛，麻醉师还没跟我打针时，我就在哭了…我知道很丢脸，更何况还是在他们不晓得从哪里知道我也是护士后的消息。他们向我确认，我依然在哭。

他问：你为什么哭？害怕还是痛？

我说：都有。

当然，心里是在想着，为什么每次躺在手术台时，我都在说服自己是最后一次了，可都不是。这已经是第八次了，之前的几次，我都在告诉自己是最后一次了。更何况这次，又是为了什么呢？拿出我不想拿出的东西。又有谁愿意再躺上来一次。

无奈中，我睡着了。

当我被叫醒时，隐隐约约听到的是旁人全都在说“她是护士”“她是护士”，烦不烦！所以，我又睡回去。

一开眼，第一件事就是摸摸鼻梁，鼻子还在…我不知道为什么会这么想~

我第一样要求的东西就是我要看看那个植入体，也就是我的假高鼻梁，握着它，好伤心。

直到真正清醒后，我忽然开不起双眼，完全没办法挣开，还以为是太累，结果不是。

原本当晚就能出院的 ，但眼睛没办法挣开，我要求医生看看我的眼睛，足足等了两小时，护士来告诉我医生在手术室，好，我等，结果一等就是两个小时后~ 凌晨十二点半，一个助诊医生看了看说也许是太干，所以要护士帮我清洗再上药，护士小姐问，要留多一夜还是出院? 现在这么晚了，叫我怎么出院啊！

隔天一早，情况更糟，因为是白天，我眼睛更是张不开，痛得像快下了，还我哭得不得了。几个助诊医生看了情况，安排我到眼科做检查，全程我像个瞎子，眼睛都是闭着的，即使在回家路上。所以，诊断结果出来，是眼球刮伤，所谓的corneal ulcer

原因呢，就是因为院方的疏忽，不知道哪个笨蛋在我麻醉睡着后，眼睛没盖完的情况下，就把薄纱布粘在我眼睛上了，纱布吸水嘛，所以吸干了我眼睛的水，在我醒来时，又不斯文点，所以擦伤了我的眼球~ 而我不能睁开双眼，就连闭着眼睛都痛得要命。我第一次，无时无刻的向妈咪要止痛药吃，太痛苦了，像是快瞎掉，哭得走廊都听到。也因为这个疏忽我被逼住多一夜，再看了眼科，害我多花了马币MYR1000 来医眼睛！

眼科医生更是幽默了，他说这种情况很常见，虽然我看不到，还是多嘴的问他

“你是说你们医院这种疏忽很常见？”

“不，我的意思是手术后这样的情况很常有的。”

“是吗，这是我第八次手术了，可还是第一次被弄成这样也”

他无奈，我更无奈…

 

由于所有的事情发生得有点急，也没告诉其他人，结果，开始，在我还没来得及解释前，很多人都对我鼻子发炎这事作出了很多结论。

很厉害，因为连医生也都没法给我个确定的理由。

没错，也许食物问题 ，但我又在禁口。不好意思，我和医生读的是同一个论点，所以我并没有太多的禁忌，有人说不能吃鸡蛋鸡肉，可我手术后第二天医生就安排鸡蛋给我了，因为我们相信鸡蛋高蛋白质帮助伤口痊愈。

我知道虾，苏东等海鲜有毒。所以我尽量不碰。只是天知道，我哪天喝下的那口汤尽是用虾熬的呢？我辛苦了这么久，受尽这么多痛，难道我自己不会爱惜吗?难道我不要照顾吗? 谁都不想这样的事发生，不是吗? 

我拼命问医生是不是食物的问题，他回答不一定。他说上一次又是放真骨，又是放假骨的，风险当然大。会发炎其实不稀奇，更何况你现在是又加了植入体，所以发炎也是有可能的。毕竟手术时是比较复杂，不象一般手术，现在是两种情况在一起做。更何况你在医院上班，医院的细菌比哪里都多，所以风险更大。

现在，大家说的是个假设，并不是结论，可不可以不要在我还没开口时就下定论。我还来不及知道，原来大家都比我了解了。

对不起，我觉得安慰的话比起这些动听多了，虽然现在不需要了。我只希望大家不要在传下去了。

心里有点失落，当我最需要安慰关心时，却有人落井下石，畅谈了起来，让我听到好多不想听的东西。难道这么说，比较有成就感吗？

我不知道会不会有人看到这些东西后对号入座，因为其实我并不知道真正下这“结论”的人是谁，因为我不想知道他/她是谁，为什么要这么做，因为我在乎所有人，所以我怕知道后会太伤心。

其实我好奇，是不是注定了呢？
因为原先手术前，医生说要分成两次手术进行的，一次是放真骨，休息半年后再植入假骨，但最后他决定两个手术一起进行。我还以为这样可以省了一次手术，结果呢，还不是要开多一次刀拿出来，然后再等上半年~没差!

还有他原先预算的手术费用是新币$15,000++ 相等于马币大约要近MYR 40,000。还了全数才能动手术，结果出院时，费用竟$14,000，所以把$1000 退还回来，结果呢，这$1000 并没有就这样省了，这次的手术费用就刚好$1000++。 怎么这么巧~是医生预先算到了吗?开玩笑的！
所以是命中注定了！

最后，顺便让大家知道，我不会放弃，医生说要半年伤口才会痊愈，我还会再试，这次也许是别的了。 

141211♥

Owh,time flies! coming to the mid of december, and so forth, Xmas is closing , then 2011 is gonna end soon.

didn't realize that my last been here was few weeks ago, i thought my last update was only ytd story. : / crazy i know,ain't because i didn't have the sense of time, the reason that makes em in such a hectic life is the feverish condition of my nose's infection which i did mentioned on the previous post.

In addition, i have to deal with so many things in a limited time and working life is fxcking tired i should said, as what i felt is almost lifeless, cos you will be freaking tired after work, exhausted, energy-less, the only thing i wish to do is, sleeping after take bath.

yet, during last week, my time was fully booked by those annoying stuff.
my day-off, still i need to spent my time in traveled to SGH which takes 45 mins to reach there for check up. what a day-off, i still spent time in hosp what!
while i was in PM shift, i went all the way 45 mins train-traveled again just to take my work permit from Clarke Quay, then went to bank and blah blah blah stuff before attend to work in the afternoon.
the next day, AM shift, even nicer, i straight away rushed to SGH againnn after i finished work becos my implant infected.
what the enrich days!

that's all my 3 working days, and then followed by 2 weeks hospitalization leave now. : /

*why H.leave?? cos i went for a minor surgery after that, and doctor gimme 2 weeks MC,nice? no! feel superb sorry to my ward sister and stuff actually!*


worked 3 days and rest 2 weeks, the best employee ever! employer!

okay, about the story, i will explain next time.
i have pretty much in my mind which em wish to shout out!

Suppose to post up my latest new baby-stuff now, but lets left it for the coming post since now already 2:30AM :P im lil weary now *yawn*
teehee...

What a meaningless post. sowwiieeee~
in order to make this post lil meaningful,i decided to share out this photo which i dun think is a good capture anyway.

#orchardroad #ion #golden xmas tree #merry christmas

#snoopyresting #sunwaygiza

pinky-cross will come back soon :) see ya. muacks! ♥

Brand new life

say hi to december, say hi to my new life. :D

i pretty hope everything goes smooth here and im should able cope it well. 

i was quite stormy yesterday, and i miss my family and you so much! * i bet you know who are the one* 

and i know my parents are superb missing me now.

they called me last night, and knew about my condition now, especially my "post-operation" condition, they was soo worry bout, and keep on asking me to postpone the job again. 

i got post-op infection in my nose, and i have to go for follow up and have some painful procedure done to drain out the bloody abscess. D: this makes my parents get extra worry.

when everytime, i heard their voice while they calling, i was holding my tears, pretending to be strong.

when the moments mum telling me "girl, you are a strong girl, you are so brave, but im still so worry about you, and i miss you so much" i heard mum choking back her tears, but i still pretending, i smile and told her im fine, im alright,bla bla,bla......and my tears started to drop too.

sorry, i ain't strong enough :'(   i miss you too.

okay, sorry for my-out-of-control-feelings. back to the topic.

the coming december will be my very first job experience. i have to move in sg few days earlier in order to done some procedure. i think it's good for me so i can start coping with the lifestyle 1st,what lifestyle? long-range walking and standing lifestyle. 

have been a long period i nvr stand and walk for so long. those days my shopathon couldn't compare with nowsday long-range walking. i used to shopping whole day long for continuous few days time, and i won't feel tired or any leg discomfort unless the shoe makes my leg pain. but, now, i got leg pain everyday. 

they are a part of my new world *sweet sweet*

i always wanted to pinkish my room, this is kind of dreamy and romantic for me : >

smurf and puppy by boyfie, puppy need to take bath @,@

  

took my uniform yesterday with 2 pair of shoes.

good fabric material, i guess should be hard to dry up since this few days was raining.

i was so in love with the Xmas edition mug and tumbler by starbuck.

it's so nice with the red color Xmas draw printed.

since i got a starbuck tumbler present by Ann babe last year Xmas, now...

thanks for boyfie for this Xmas gift in advance :>

those stuff which acc me recently. 

handbags, perfume and canvas shoe.

loving the photo beside, i got a nice hair color now! yeepee!!

 one of my favour place here. Clarke Quay.

i was there today, not for shopping but for my working pass in Ministry of Manpower which is nearby there.

the MOM i went is located at level 4, which got a super duple nice scenery from the building.

photo taken few days ago when i met up with babes...yin and zih at a new cafe located in BP called 

"BO EIGHT TEA" 

which is now the only shop that selling thousand layer cake in BP, but as we tasted, not that nice as Malacca one and it melt so damn stupid fast! X____X 

-sorry, doesn't mean to criticize it, this is a customer feedback-

beloved boyfie, we used to quarrel everyday when we never meet up for a period of time.

i miss you badly, i wish you know it, and i doesn't mean to argue with you each time, i feel bad.

please accept my apologize. 죄송.

lastly, self-portrait in mai room with mai this smurf which was gifted by boyfie, so i named it khoochy,since smurf family have Brainy, Clumsy, Grouchy,etc... haha kidding.

smile, keep smiling, this is the best medicine in the world.

the end for now.

pinky cross to post up convo photos either bloggie or fb. i nvr forget it. ^___^

xoxo

夜了 还是一点睡意也没有
明天 不对 是今天 又要离开家里 到另一个城市 朝着下一个目标前进了
开心？紧张不舍多一些些...
脑海里不断散过很多很多 不同的憧憬
我好奇 我是在期待吗 还是害怕
好舍不得家的温暖 离不开家人的怀抱
这次 不象以往有家人朋友的陪伴
和宜的工作时间病房也不一样
陌生的环境 我得靠自己努力
幸好回屋子 还有她可以陪我
还得自己去看病 没有妈咪的陪伴
不能随随便便跑回家
要靠自己加油了

# 犹太人说，人生下来就是为了承受苦痛。承得了多少苦，就成得了多少才。人的每一次成长都必须付出代价。#

我相信 我在成长独立中！
加油 媛媛:'>

Officially Graduated!

First of all, i would like to Congratz to all my group's mate, Happy Graduation!
Now, finally, i have graduated :')
Throughout the whole 3 years, i been work hard, study hard for everything. As you know, i always wanted to give up, felt like have joined a wrong course. Regret to the max but still i finished it.
 i used to be the one that others always think that i might give up and quit, they thought i can't able to survive in this tough job. i have to admit, sometimes, i do think so. nursing isn't easy like what i think before i joined. as most of my friends knew, i was regret joining when the 1st day of orientation! so can you imaging throughout the whole 3 yrs, i have been regretting!

thank god, i got my family, friends, and bi who always support me and give me so much of loves. Thank you so much!
and thanks a lot to my lecturers and clinical instructors, thanks for the good comment that made myself more confident and im glad that my result always good than i expected, this made me moves on too.

Things always can't be smooth like what we expected, i did face so much of  "choke point" which made me down to the deepness... studies, assignments, internship, sucks management, hostel,etc...

again, i would like to thanks to my parents, family who gave me not only financial support but also full spirit support along the 3 years time.
thanks to boyfie, who take care of me and gave me 100% of support too, thanks him for not giving me up, i used to vented my anger on him, but still he is very patient to me.
thanks for those who had make me happy,make me laugh, because of you, i have a great college life.
and thanks for those who had make me sad, make me cry too,because of you, i learns a lot and i realize how reality of a person can be.
thanks to the suck management too, because of you, i knew how can a management be suck in this way. :P

lastly, i should say, i have a wonderful and meaningful moments throughout my whole 3 years college life. i really learnt so much, not only from the nursing discipline but everything. =)

：：：Best of luck for a wonderful future. : ) ：：：

p/s : convocation photos coming up soon, stay tuned for more photos : >

A story of a pencil and an eraser

I saw this meaningful story, and i like it so much so decided to share here with you.

This is a story of a pencil and an eraser.

Pencil: I'm sorry

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.

Pencil: I'm sorry cos you get hurt bcos of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.

I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational. 

Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way... they get hurt, and become smaller (older, and eventually pass on). Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

"All my life, I've been the pencil.. And it pains me to see the eraser that is my parents getting smaller and smaller each day. For I know that one day, all that I'm left with would be eraser shavings and memories of what I used to have..." 

"we will never know the love of our parents for us till the day we become parents..."

Pencilly~

The pencil is a splendid thing

For which there's no replacer.

But better than the pencil is

The little pink eraser.

                  

                       -- Doug Florian

071111 ♥

是时候出来见见大家了...在家里闭关修炼了好一些日子,足不出户的,希望我有变白回~

不知道为什么突然很想用中文,但是中文退步了,英文也退步了,我完蛋了!

很多人很好奇我现在的样子,频频要我拍照给他们,还不怎么有勇气这么做, 因为还是肿肿的~ 

自从复诊回来后,就开始出门了~ 在家休养太久, 超级想shopping 的~ 可惜, 这里的shopping mall还是满足不了我的购物欲! : [  可boutique却多到爆!

昨天和妈咪去了一家常关顾的服饰店~ 搜到了一件超爱的西装外套 : D 开心!

这两件是最近的大爱 ♥

西装外套 >> RM149

白色蕾丝上衣 >> RM89

 both from LaQueen (if u are bee peerian, im sure u know this boutique)

怎么感觉用中文这样写 好奇怪 @,@

可以用回英文吗? 虽然英文也在退步中...╮(╯3╰)╭

new h.kitty bed sheet for my s'pore house. this design was chosen by mummy, since there are too many design and i was dazzling on each design, every design looks nice and cute for me, so mummy did the choice. =) nice bor??

oh yay, beside that is a flower-print pajamas by young hearts collection. im a  young hearts' fan too. their lingerie is so vivid, brisk in design, and the pajamas is comfort to wear for bed as well.i think most of my pajamas were by y.heartcollection. it cost around RM65.90 for pajamas, but i think they have some discount for it too.

one more h.kitty here. iphone casing grabbed it ytd too ^^

i saw one of my fb's frens having it, and im so cheeky to pm her and ask where she got it. and here i got myself one :))) teehee...

since im so bored when staying at home, i did some shooting for my ibaby with diff clothy on. 

total collection 8 of them, obviously im red lover. some are presented by frens. 

okay, lemme explain the middle photo. i was curious whether bikini able to covered my scar, this doubt i been concern for so long ~,~ so i tried on my bikini,and found that is so suit with christmas theme and suit with the casing beside.haha.*polka dots lover too*   this is hell stupid for trying bikini at home i know.i was too boring.

hmm...and luckily my chest's scar able to be covered, but not on the hips one. it looks quite obvious thou. T___T

  

yeshh, come to the end of year, christmas is just around. i seriously superb love christmas ambiance. this was my first time putting up a christmas tree and done it with mummy. : ) *previously were done by mummy and bro*

ok lah, lastly, post up a photo taken ytd with my still-swelling-nose. >,<
iphone front camera is suck!not clear at all :<

ya, em feeling much much better now.. maybe becos i get used to the pain and the discomfort. have completed all medication,yeah yeah, left the vitamin Daneron for nerves good. now trying to bear with pain and walk straight properly. wish i can get 100% recover soon :)

xoxo

shaine

你喜欢我什么?

有人在热恋的时候问自己的情人:
     [ 你喜欢我什么? ]
情人回答说:
     [喜欢你天真，喜欢你有梦想，喜欢你不肯随便妥协的性格，喜欢你的刁蛮任性，也喜欢你的聪明。]
 后来，她的情人不爱她了。分手的时候，她含着泪问他：
     [你为什么不再爱我? 我有什么地方不好? ]
 情人回答说:
     [你这个人太天真，你有太多不切实际的梦想，我们根本合不来，你太固执，刁蛮任性，完全不理会别人的感受，你常常自以为很聪明，我真的很受不了。]
 她伤心地问他：[ 你当初不是因为这些原因而喜欢我的吗? ]

我们总爱问自己喜欢的人 : [你为什么喜欢我? 你喜欢我什么? ]
 可悲的是，我们爱一个人和不爱一个人往往是因为同一些理由。
 你曾经很欣赏她不肯妥协的性格，你曾经欣赏她刁蛮任性，最后却觉得她这一切都过了头。
 不要问他喜欢你什么，将来他会因为相同的理由而离开你。

最近看了一本来子张小娴的爱藏系列散文，里面其中的一篇...
觉得挺有意思的，所以和大家分享~
我相信很多人都问过情人这样的问题吧!
老实说，我也一样，做过同样的事...即使现在知道也许以后如果分开会因为相同的原因，我还是会问!因为我不想连分开了也不知道自己做错了什么...
但其实我觉得 真正的爱上 是说不出一个所以然的~ 
就感觉吧~ 感觉对了什么原因也说不上， 但感觉没了，什么都可能成为理由...不是吗?
爱情 是不需要理由的理由... 我觉得...
 又有谁和我想的是一样的呢?

****************************
p/s: proper post to be coming soon : /

✈ i have gone through.

im getting well :)

 

1st time showing out this thingy, feel like insecure. : /

i know is ugly thou.

for the past one week, i was in a totally confused and frail condition.
i have been told to update my condition once im awake and once i able to typing.
but sorry friends, i failed to do so cos i was totally in a blurred state :( until a few days after i came back home from hosp.
even i told that will try to blog it while im in ward, but i couldn't get any interest on doing anything, not even iphone and ipod, and my smurf's village as well...been abandoned my smurf for so long :[
i keep sleeping...sleeping and sleeping...and dun even know how could i slept for so many days and including the days after i came back, i still slept for about 2 days. Zzz

✈ ♥♥♥♥♥

i have 2 wounds over my body which is the hips area and one more new cut over the ribs :(
wounds on face as well and inside the mouth : \ 
so this actually made me can't sit, stand,walk, eat, bite, talk, breath thru nose,and more and more...
im totally dependent T___T

and how much i suffered couldn't describe out here thru words.
i was lil crumble when the doctor try to fill up some tubes of blood for lab test, and my blood was not enough after few tubes, and no choice she has to puncture again.
when the anesthetist going to insert a branula into my vein, and the vein is too small, so no choice to probe again and again. T_____________T
ended up, my both hands were full with plaster. : /

✈ ♥♥♥♥♥

the moment i woke up from recovery room, the only thing i could feel is PAIN. SEVERE PAIN all over the wounds!
nurse asked me pain score 1-10 and planned to inject some pain killer for me. Morphine injected and my pain still never get relief at all. 
still the moment i was push out from the recov room, and saw my mum was waiting outside, i started to tears drop, and there's the only way i can told my mum that i was in such pain.
but as you know, cry, cough,etc make the pressure increase and this will only end up causing more pain to myself.
i been told that the cuts over the ribs will be the most painful wounds for me, told by a senior staff nurse in the ward. so, i was quite worried about this before the surgery.
in fact, the most painful wounds is the one located at hips!the painfulness even made me wake up at night and i couldn't stay my leg straight, i have to bend it all the time to reduce lil pain and only strong medicine can able to kill the pain.
the surgeon told me it's because too much of bone has been taken out and of course some injury to the surround tissues and nerves, plus this is the second time i did this bone grafting from the exactly same site, so basically it's double injury to that area. D:

✈ ♥♥♥♥♥

due to the previous experience, i know that surgeon will only let me discharge when i could able walk and eat (only swallow liquid-type food), so i requested to take out the urine catheter and tried myself very hard to get down from bed and walk to bathroom on the 3rd day, again my tears drop down even thou i know i shouldn't cry, but it happened naturally because of severe pain.
plus, the anesthesia effect made me nauseated few days after surgery and when i started vomit, it cause more pressure and pain at my nose and hips' wound. i was seriously suffered like hell.
and for my every single breathe, i have to place a small pillow over the chest to breath and couldn't take deep breath as well, to reduce the pain over the chest's wounds.

✈ ♥♥♥♥♥

im breathing thru mouth cos my nose all blocked, it makes my mouth dry always so i have to wake up every hour to drop a few drops of water into my mouth to moisturize it.
but when im eating i can't breath @,@ that's y i always suffocating while eating or drinking. this is worse too!
i can only swallow soft-liquid-type foods, no biting and no cold drinks. *i miss grass jelly milk tea with bubble by chatime* i even difficult in swallowing medicine, so the nurse punch it and add with some syrup to make it sweet in stead of bitter, but still i dun have the breath to suck in thru straw.  :[

 this is the dinner the served me the day before surgery. since im staying at ward A1, so i have more choice for meal. i ordered this black pepper chicken with mushroom soup and it's tasty ^^

this is what they served me after operation. T___T

 big differences and i have no choice! 

all blanded and blended thingy! yakk!

have to finish up at least half in every meal in order to "get release" home by the surgeon.

 

 the wound over my hips *in case anyone misunderstood this, im not naked*

This is more longer than the previous scar, but i haven't open out both water-proof dressing and see how long is the scar, should do it one day before going for check up.

open up and see and do the dressing my own since i have extra cotton and patches.

✈ ♥♥♥♥♥

okay, the pain even last until now im still paining, this is the reason y i can't stand and walk for the past few days. 

now, im like in such a prematurely senile status! urgghhh!
i can't sit for too long, stand more than 3 mins,and i walk slow like an old folks! T_________T
i have no idea why till now im still feeling dizzy especially when get up from bed, mum said maybe anemia. :C
i almost fainted inside bathroom few times when i get up and go by my own. *i hate it*
have to give some spacing for rest in between when i go bathroom take bath, wash face, mouth cleasing...
i can't do it one shot, whereby i will feel extremely exhausted and my whole body started to stab pain within 3 mins time. this is exactly like an old folk do. WTH with me!!!
and i can't sit straight for a long period, i have to lie on something, i can't walk for a distance, not even from my room to the kitchen downstairs, i feel extremely exhausted and start to giddy zomg!

what the hell happened on me?! i want back my pretty healthy body!pls!!
im such a energetic girl and i can shop for the whole day long!!! okay, i miss shopping.
 

maybe they're one of the reason??

i have 6 type of medicine plus one more bottle codeine tables for chronic pain.

and this is my snacks.

since i have no more food choice, my lunch and dinner is forever plain porridge, i mean for now!

so when i feel like eating, this is all my snacks with mashed potato, soya, and pudding =D

the only soft thingy i can have =[

iphone casing by babe yin. thanks for this and the magazine you bought.

and thankiu so much for my relatives, all gave me so generous angpao and lotsa tonic.

and all my friends for the wishes =)

your wishes have made me even stronger! : >

and here, i have to thank you so so much to my dear mummy,

she acc me through out this whole process

take good care for me, bringing me and giving so much of love to me.

the task of caring me is such tough, and my mum really did it well. =)

in order to ease her and let her have a good sleep at night, 

i used to get up and walk very slowly by myself whereby she actually not allowed me to do so cos i always dizzy after get up.

she really take good care of me =)

mummy, thank you and i love you ♥♥♥

family support is always the most important part, and i received the 100% from my family.

there is still lotsa i have suffered and experienced, i just couldn't describe all thru words here.

the purpose of writing this post ain't to get sympathy or to showing off anything.

Im writing for my own in this such an unforgettable and tough days, 
✈ i have gone thru. =')